 |
Lovespell |
The top two covers in the worst category were only separated by a single vote, but Fiance At Her Fingertips by Kathleen Bacus edged out the win. For the most part, readers didn’t hate this cover. They just didn’t think it belonged anywhere near a romance. (OK, some readers hated it, like Willa. “I try not to judge a book by its cover, but this one made me instantly hate the book and want to burn all copies of it. Sorry, Kathleen Bacus.”) But most readers were confused. Betty: “...A cover that belongs in the “Dummies” section of the bookstore...” Malvina: “This would have to be the poxiest cover evah. It's like a cereal box from the 60's gone terribly terribly wrong, combined with a cheesy looking 60's cartoon guy. Frightful! Boring! And who's gonna bother to read all those words? Not I.” April: “...If I spied this in a book aisle, I would assume it’s a children’s book.” Nikki: "I have never liked cartoonish covers, and this is the most cartoonish I've seen in a long time. That man looks like Dennis the Menace's father! I so would not want to have to imagine this guy as the hero in a romance book I'm reading.” Cmndrs: “The other covers were pretty bad, but at least they look like they have something to do with the novels inside. I think this one is the worst because for some reason, the entire book design screams "Self-help!" rather than romance. Or maybe a scintillating treatise on laundry detergent with sparkles and a cartoon salesman.” Elaina summed up everything that was wrong about this cover. “I like cartoon covers sometimes, but this is a great example of how NOT to do a cartoon cover! It looks like something on a cereal box - nothing that looks like it's a romance novel. It's just so stupid, especially the cheesy one-liners slapped around the fiance ." |
|
In second place by just one vote, the anthology Damned, Delicious and Dangerous . Readers were worried about this poor hero.
Midori: “...If the elephantits in his pants weren’t bad enough, the flames and lightning bolts shooting out of his pants are disconcerting. The way the model is staring at his crotch in surprise is not reassuring.” Allison: “...I can’t be the only one who thinks he’s trying to pee out a fire! Plus, he’s being electrocuted at the same time! Sexy!” Brenda has heard about this before. “...I saw on the Weather Channel that crotch lightning is the most dangerous type of lightning there is.” Sarah wasn’t convinced either. “...Nothing says romance like a guy being electrocuted. Look, it’s even blown his fly open! Perhaps the stunned look on his face means he’s realized his crotch is on fire.” Nicci wasn’t a fan either. “Is the red supposed to represent blood? Fire? I can't tell, and worse, is there *lightning* coming out of this guy's crotch? And what is wrong with his eyes? Strictly from viewing this cover, I'd say a more apt title would be "Dreadful, Deranged and Distasteful". Cheryl summed it up: “Even he can't believe what's about to come out of his pants! I've heard of electric sex, but this is ridiculous! ” |
Aphrodisia |
|
The third place cover, Athena Force: Breathless by Sharon McClellan, got mixed reviews.
Although many readers put it on their “worst” list, a number of voters commented that they liked it.
Not Sarah: “Cheesy. Very, very cheesy. Horribly cheesy.” Many readers had one thing in mind – Baywatch! And not in a good way. Kaye: “...This couple looks like Baywatch rejects.” Kate: “...American gladiators meets Baywatch...” Nana: “...The winner is Athena Force, or as I like to think of it, 007: Quantum of Baywatch. This cover made me laugh harder than anything else in the category. First of all, the hero is wearing underwear. They may say it's a swimsuit, but those are boxer briefs. Second, there is no way his missing arm could possibly holding that photoshopped harpoon gun. Come to think of it, what could he possibly need a harpoon gun for? Is Athena Force a top-secret Coast Guard organization that responds to whale-related threats?” Tazzy: “I know why they're breathless. From laughing so hard. Are they trying to do a James Bond knock off with her in a bikini and diving knife and him in a bathing suit with a spear gun? This one is Double Oh-No!” Rebekah agreed. “This could be the best book on the face of the planet (I somehow doubt it, but…) and I would not be able to read it because of the ridiculous cover. His shorts are too short, they both show way too much skin, and I am scared to death that very Freudian harpoon is going to hurt one of them if they’re not careful.” |
Silhouette |
Spice |
In fourth place, another anthology: “What Happens in Vegas” . Most voters only needed one word for this one.
“Icky” (Cover Cafe’s Lee), “Ugly...” (Kaye), “...Trashy” (Mary Alice), “...Vulgar...” (Debbie), “Tacky, tacky, tacky!” (Mary), “...Gross” (Ellie), “Ridiculous...” (Samantha) and “Downright embarrassing and yuck.” (Cheryl). Cover Cafe’s Mary Lynne agreed. “...It’s too much, it’s too tacky, it’s tasteless – oh, stop me while I’m ahead...” Allison agreed. “...While I like a good romantica / erotica book as much (or even more) than the next person, I don’t want to carry around a book that I’d be embarrassed to read on the subway...” But Bev had the most creative comment. “At first glance (particularly in thumbnail size), it looks like a raw, untrussed Thanksgiving turkey..with a tattoo! Seriously, his back is the body of the bird, her legs are the drumsticks sticking out, and his elbows / her hands are the wings. Having said that though, I don’t think the stories inside are turkeys at all!” |
|
Voters had one reaction to Strike Zone by Kate Angell: Ouch! A hint to publishers – a book cover
is not supposed to make you cringe.
Amy agreed. “...This one makes me want to cross my legs and duck my head. Honestly… people get PAID for this?...” Denise felt the same way. “Nothing says sexy like taking a line drive in the crotch. I sincerely hope the art department sent this poor author a groveling letter of apology for this...cover, along with a bottle of expensive single malt, because...this is bad.” Other voters were just offended. Jenni Lyn said, “...Why is there a cover every year where the perspective is taken from between a woman’s legs? It’s the opposite of sexy (particularly when rendered as a cartoon) and it’s offensive. Considering this is a female-targeted industry, I find this really puzzling.” |
Love Spell |
Kensington |
These Boots Were Made For Stomping , in sixth place, is another cover that got mixed reviews – some readers liked it, but not everyone…
Naima: "These boots were made for Stripping! And there is no better way to kick start your life than DIY porn and poles!...” Brenda: “...Those boots were made for pole dancing, not stomping...” She commented on this cover while voting for another cover as the worst. Other readers were worried about the heroine’s feet. Jean: “How could anyone stomp in those boots without falling over?...” Jody: “If you stomp around too much in those hooker boots, you might break your ankle...” Nana: “...These Boots Were Made for Stomping, featuring boots which, if stomped, would lead to the sequel “These Crutches Were Made For Hobbling...” Nana voted for another cover but couldn't resist commenting on the other covers, too. Others objected for more aesthetic reasons. Ellen: “Because those are the fugliest boots ever! No self-respecting Domme would wear those things. And in front of a rainbow? No and no and no...” Andrew: “...Nothing could save Stomping from being ugly and patently unsexy (shoe fetishists aside). Not a single element works well, looks good, or even comes close...” |
|
Obsession by Kayla Perrin came in seventh. In this category, coming in seventh is almost a compliment,
but even voters who picked another cover had negative comments about this one. Readers couldn’t decide what was wrong
with this heroine, but they didn’t find her at all appealing.
Pat felt sorry for her. “She either has a severe toothache or a bad case of Montezuma’s Revenge. Ugh!” Susan agreed. “I know we’re supposed to think she’s in the throes of passion, but she looks more like she ate something that disagreed with her...” A note to publishers – making a cover red does not automatically make it sexy. Many readers found the whole thing unappealing. Debbie said, “...This one’s just creepy. If I saw it in the shops I would think it was a serial killer novel.” Sara agreed. “...It looks uncannily like a crime scene photo. Do Not Want.” |
Spice |
Aphrodisia |
In eighth place, Thigh High by Bonnie Edwards. Voters were all in agreement on this one – they really don’t want to see this much butt.
Therese explained it clearly, if any of the publishers are still reading. “I’m straight. I’m here for the hero. I don’t want to see that much of the heroine!” Ronda agreed. “Come on, is it necessary to force us to look at a big round chick booty?” Kati commented, “Crack is NOT sexy. Ever.” Maria thought, "The cover isn't sexy, just cheap and boring. It's not even exceptionally bad in an amusing way: I feel like I've seen it a hundred times before, which makes it forgettable." And Becca summed it up. “Enough with the butts already. I don’t want to see any more butts. Seriously!” |
Strebor Books |
Genesis Press |
|
Then there was The Climax by Allison Hobbs, which came in ninth.
There’s something wrong when most of the comments mention breastfeeding, and the only breast on the cover belongs to a man.
Evelyn: “I’m waiting for him to lactate.” Katie: “That man needs a bra!” Jordan: “...At first I glanced at this cover and though nothing of it, but then I took a closer look… Is she trying to milk him?” Carolyn summed it up. “The last time I saw a boob that big, I was nursing my baby...” Other readers were just confused. Vivian said, “I THINK it’s two people, but really it just looks like one guy...who’s cupping his own breast. Eww.” Sara B. felt that, “...This woman is pushing a hole in her man’s chest, possibly with the intent of ripping out his still-beating heart...” |
And in last place (a real compliment in this category), Mr. Fix-It by Crystal Hubbard. A lot of readers liked this cover,
and wondered why it belonged in worst. But the comments were hilarious.
Elyse: “...Either this person is a mutant deformed by radiation, or this is two people bizarrely placed...” Anne: “...It looks like the result of a tragic transporter malfunction on Star Trek...” Nana again: “...The tragic demise of Mr. Fix-It, suffocated to death in the heroine’s breasts...” I have to admit, this was my choice in this category. There is just something about groping arms unconnected to a body that makes me say “ick”. But it was so hard to choose just one! As much as I love good romance covers, I think I love the bad ones just a little bit more… |
To the Series Cover Results |
To the summary page of Winners |
 |
Return to the summary page of Winners |
|
|
Comment on our Message Board |
|
|
Submit a nomination for the current year's cover contest |
|
|
Return to Cover Cafe's Home Page |